I CAN ONLY IMAGINE: THE KELLEY KAMINSKI STORY

I can only imagine what the parents of those young children who were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary, are feeling. It’s been a year since that cold December day, and I can only imagine this year, December is even colder.

I can only imagine.

I can only imagine a world where we don’t bully our children. Or ostracize them being different, or even worse, when they’re depressed. I can only imagine what is was like for Kelley Kaminski back in 2005. I can only imagine what Kaminski – then a 17 year old Basha High School student – was feeling when she was arrested by police because she was believed to have a plot to shoot her fellow students, teachers and even the security guards at her high school.

Kelley spoke to me about some of what she went through back in 2005. I can only imagine she was nervous.

She told us that she didn’t have a plot. “That’s what made my mom most upset,” she said. I can only imagine her mother was furious of what happened back then.

I was just a scared little girl,” Kelley told me. I can only imagine how true that is.

I went to the same high school as Kelley, and remember sitting in the newspaper classroom working against a deadline in the early evening when my newspaper adviser came in and told us there were several police officers in the office. I can only imagine what she thought was going on.

I only imagined the very worst when the building was evacuated after school hours just minutes after my newspaper adviser told us about the police. I remember being angry that I couldn’t stay even later to finish the newspaper.

I was in my French class and got called into the office. I was arrested,” Kaminski says of the day she was arrested, just hours before.

I just wanted to call my mom, but they wouldn’t let me,” she said.

I can only imagine what adult jail was like for Kaminski. Where she said she tried not to talk to anyone, but made an acquaintance by accepting a cigarette. I can only imagine how alone she felt.

I can only imagine what the drawing in her notebook looked like. The drawing that she says is the only piece of evidence that was used against her. She doesn’t have a copy.

I can only imagine how violated she must have felt when her backpack, and later her house were gone through by police. I can only imagine what the guns, her stepfather’s kept hidden away in a closet Kelley had never been in, looked like. “I don’t trust cops now and wish I did because I want my son to. I don’t trust anyone besides the people who stuck with me.”

I can only imagine what living in the shadow of this has been like for Kelley. “I had to move out of the state and [now] hope no one ever searches my name on the internet.”

I can only imagine what my parents felt back then, when, at a special parent meeting, were told that Kaminski had a list of names. A list she said never existed.

I can only imagine what anxieties Kelley fells about being a mother of a four year old.

I can only imagine what the parents at Arapahoe High School feel now that their kids were shot or shot at. I can only imagine Christmas this year will feel empty for those parents.

I can only imagine what the solution to school violence is. Between guns, bullying, depression, video games, and the worry and the stress and fear, I can only imagine what being a parent today is like.

And for that I thank God for I can only imagine. 

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