He Loves Me

For those of you who know me, you probably know that I am in a new relationship. Considering that I find myself posting something about him or us, or our relationship, on Facebook and on Twitter just about everyday, if not every hour, if you aren’t throwing up in your mouth by how cute we are, well, then there’s something wrong with you.
Over the weekend, I had the most romantic and magical time I ever have with someone. On Friday, my boyfriend and I went out to dinner. It was sweet and a part of me came to life when he reached across the table to take my hand. His dark eyes looked into mine, and he mouthed that he loved me without saying it aloud – which made it that much sweeter. That same night, we did something I have never done while in a relationship: we went to a gay bar together. After we met up with a very close friend of mine, I fell even harder for him after she approved of him and he told me he liked her too. The following night, my boyfriend and I got to go on the FQ Story Historic Home Tour. And hand in hand, me wearing his jacket because I’ve been coming down with a cold and he insisted I stay warm, we toured beautiful homes, and talked about how wonderful it would be to raise our family in whichever house struck our fancy. There were a few.
Every part of me has been searching for something wrong about this man who has stolen my heart. Every part of me has been in a desperate search for red flags. Warning signs. Anything that can protect me from heartbreak and/or broken eye sockets.
But I can’t find a one.
Let me tell you more about him: he is insanely sweet, always makes sure I am happy (from giving me his jacket to rubbing my back until I fall asleep), isn’t addicted to drugs, isn’t a convicted felon, has a job, and license. He is incredibly intelligent, a nerd, speaks two languages, believes in God – and has a relationship with him, loves his family so much so that he takes his 12 year old brother out just to hang, and wants kids.
Above all else, he loves me.
Now in the past, I have written about my exes. From “Beneath My Lovers Hands, I Grabbed the Knife” to “Doing What Rihanna Isn’t” to “Reflecting on A Hard Anniversary” it’s pretty clear that I have a horrible track record when it comes to dating. My exes haven’t been nice to me.
And frankly, I haven’t been nice to myself by dating them. And while it’s easy to place the blame on them, I do have to take some of the blame myself – because there were red flags. Ones I ignored or didn’t recognize at the time.
But I have taken years off dating, and having zero tolerance for the slightest imperfection, or slightest sign of aggression, or the slightest suggestion that there is something not quite trustworthy enough about a person I am interested in, I find myself now in complete disbelieve that I have not only found the man of my dreams, but that I have earned his love, and he has earned mine. And now nearly a month into us dating, not one red flag has come up.
When I mention this disbelieve to my boyfriend, he reminds me that God is great, and brought us together. And with each text I get from him, each kiss we share, and each day that passes, I know he couldn’t be more right, and not just about how great God is for bringing us together, but I know he couldn’t be more right for me.  

 

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