He had a pink Mohawk at the time, but he was still a great guy and I should have dated him.
His name was Joey, and though I had never dated a guy at the time, I was intrigued by him. This was my sophomore year in college. At the time I was the Director of the Human Rights Campaign at ASU, and while I fought for marriage equality, I had never dated a guy.
Sure there were flings here and there, but still I had never been in a serious relationship with a guy.
When I met Joey, it was through and HRC at ASU event. He was super skinny then, and had a pink Mohawk.
We chatted, and the first time he came over to my apartment, where I lived the Ginger Girl, I was nervous, I wasn’t sure what I was doing, but I knew I liked him, and he may have liked me back. That was a big deal, seeing as how most of my hook-ups were with married men. He, being a single guy my age, was a big deal. To top it off, he was an English literature major, and a junior, just a year ahead of me.
We chatted through emails back and forth for a few days, since he still doesn’t believe in Facebook and at the time didn’t have text messaging through phone. A few emails into our conversation back then I had invited him over. When he arrived, I threw Britney Spears on through my speakers, and we started making out.
Joey wanted to get naked pretty quickly, and even though Britney’s song “Get Naked (I Got A Plan)” was on, with her singing “My body is calling out for you bad boy” I wanted to hold off. I liked him, and wanted him to be more than a hook-up.
We didn’t get naked that first day we hung out, but had a hot fling in the following weeks. At the time, I was working tirelessly trying to defeat Arizona’s so-called marriage amendment, proposition 102. This was the second time Arizona was facing this so-called marriage amendment (we had been successful in defeating it just two years prior), and frankly I didn’t have time for a relationship.
But I wanted one, bad.
Our fling lasted just through the election, when I finally broke things off with Joey. It came as a surprise, even to me. I went to his house to grab my pillow after the election. I had left there the night before and another guy answered the door when I rang the doorbell. His roommate, I thought, when I asked for my pillow.
“Oh, yeah, sorry, I was sleeping on it last night,” the guy at the door said handing me back my pillow. Baffled, hurt, and hurt, I took my pillow. “You want to talk to Joey,” the guy at the door asked.
“No thanks,” I said. I was hurt. I thought Joey and I had something going on, I mean he had even talked to the Ginger Girl I lived with about dating me, we weren’t anything official. Sure, I wanted to date him, and I thought him me.
The next day, he attempted to explain the whole mess to me. “It was just an animalistic fling I had with him, I hope that’s okay,” he said to me.
I said it was fine, we weren’t going out, technically, and he could do what he wanted. In reality, I was hurt, and angry, and felt cheated on.
That was the last time I talked to him until I ran into him tonight. Back then, I just freezed him out, and stopped talking to him. He never called me, and I never called him. He stopped coming to HRC at ASU meetings, and for that I was thankful.
Looking back, I should have considered dating him, even with the so-called “animalistic fling.” My first boyfriend, and my second boyfriend for that matter, hit me, and that isn’t okay. I don’t’ think Joey would have ever hit me. And at least he was honest about his fling.
When I ran into him in the bar tonight, his pink Mohawk had been replaced with a more business professional look, and upon seeing him, I gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek. We flirted tonight, heavily, and he gave me his number by texting me.
I texted him back, immediately, even though we were just feet apart, and said “You’re still incredibly cute.” It’s the truth too, I mean even without the pink Mohawk, and even though he has gained weight since our hot election-time fling, he is still cute.
He told me he is working on his master’s degree and his thesis is on exploring how Victorian literature has influenced modern day literature. This screams sexy in my ears. I love a man who can truly analyze literature is just gold to me. Finding men like that doesn’t happen every day. In fact, it doesn’t happen every year.
As tonight progressed, I learned that he has a good paying job, and enjoys sitting at home, reading. He seemed more calmed down and less sexually promiscuous, and after a few drinks and some insane courage built up, I said, “Hey, what are you doing next week, my birthday is coming up and we should hang.”
“That would be fun. But you know I have a boyfriend, right.” My plans to hang with him disappeared, and I thought of ways of killing someone, only for a minute.
“Oh, um, well, I don’t like that, you should break up with him, and we should go out.”
“He is moving in next week, so I am not sure I will be free then,” he replied.
More ways of how to kill a person flashed before my eyes.
I should have attempted to date the guy with the pink Mohawk, back in my sophomore year in college. Looking back, and considering who I am today, I would have. Today, I would have and should have appreciated his honesty about his animalistic fling when we were dating. I should have considered him, even for hurting me when we were not technically anything.
Because, the fact of the matter is he would have been great first boyfriend material. And with his job now, and his ambitions, and even with his weight-gain and lack of Mohawk now, he is still quite a catch, and something I passed up for greener, or grayer as the case may be, pastures.