When Gays Forget Love, We Lose

Stacey Campfield is one of my most despised Senators.

Not only has he gone as far as to say that only gay’s spread AIDS (not a fact, because hetero’s are doing much of the spreading now, especially in Africa), but he has also attempted to create the “Don’t Say Gay” bill in Tennessee, where he is from, which would prevent students from saying the word gay. 

Recently, the Senator was kicked out of a restaurant called “The Bistro at Bijou” for being anti-gay.

And the gay community is proud. We are applauding Martha Boggs, the owner of the Knoxville restaurant for her actions. 

According to Perez Hilton’s blog, she said, “I hope that Stacy Campfield now knows what it feels like to be unfairly discriminated against.” 

She then goes on to say: “I didn’t want his hate in my restaurant. I told him he wasn’t welcome here. … I feel like he’s gone from being stupid to being dangerous, and I wanted to stand up to him.”

Frankly, I have a problem with this whole situation, particularly Martha Boggs’ actions.

Because while part of me understands, and might have done the same thing, I know deep in my heart that hate doesn’t conquer hate, only love does.

By kicking him out, Martha gave him a taste of his own medicine, and that’s awesome, to some extent, but it’s not how we win, not on the issues that very much affect us.

The gay community is not known for it’s might. We often do not protest. Nor do we riot. It’s not our style. Our movement, and demand for rights comes from a place of love, respect, and allowing people like this Senator to have whatever views they have, but attempting to break their heart, by seeing who we really are. Has it always worked? Certainly not.

We have lost more than we have won.

But actions like this will only justify whatever views he, and others like him, have on the gay community. How much more difficult would it have been for Martha to offer him a free lunch, and ask him to remember her the next time he wants to take away her rights?

Yes, she would have had to bite her tongue. Yes, she would not have the national notoriety that she now has. Yes, she would have had to allow the Senator to dine in her establishment. But maybe, just maybe, the free lunch she could have given him, is all he needed to change his mind about us. When gays forget about love, we loose not only our political battle, but something worth fighting for. And that’s just not acceptable. 


  1. Do you really think people like him would change a deeply entrenched and deeply stupid belief?Good for her, for protecting her patrons from hatred.

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