So, I want to take a moment (and frankly, these people deserve more than just a moment, but story of my life) to thank the people whom have been there. Truly, unrelenting been there. Sure, I have come to understand the value of friendship more than ever during the past year-plus, but sometimes I am blown away as to the extent people will go who have nothing in it, but the simple fact that they value me that much.
Therefore, consider this a post to which I simply grovel and write about my respect/love/insanity to my most loyal readers. And maybe a few folks who don’t read iREADray.com, but whom should.
First, and there’s no particular order here, but first, are my parents, who even in and what some ten? Twenty years after their divorce have been able to communicate respectfully their thoughts, concerns and love for me, to each other. That’s something pretty powerful. To know your parents are behind your every decision (good or bad) is an empowering reality I get to face everyday. When I said I was dropping out of college, my parents said “Okay,” and ensured I was alright. I think they have taken a beating this past year (considering I have dated two men who hit, made several bad decisions and am finally figuring out who I am) and frankly, they need a standing ovation. They have taken the difficult decisions I have made and done everything they could to ensure they were the best ones. So, please, if you pray, or know them, or simply love, send your prayers and love their direction. I have used an awful lot of it this past year and though with them I know it’s never ending, they might need some to get them through their day, so send it their way, please!
Second, and again, there is no order here, are my friends, Chris, Nicole, Chez, Amie and Patrick. These people know more about me than anyone should, and yet they stay by my side. I have nothing to give any of these people and yet here I am, finding myself constantly turning to them to confide in some of the darkest secrets a person can carry. And here they are, unrelenting giving me love and support, and offering me nothing but everything. It’s incredible. Talk about unconditional love.
Third, I want to truly take a moment to thank the Joker and K-Fed, my two favorite exes. I know, what a concept, thank your exes, especially considering they both, in their own way, broke my little old heart, among other things. But, the reality I find myself in is this: without either of them I wouldn’t get to where I am. Certainly, I would have loved to have taken a smoother path, if you will, but this path I am on right now, is finally alright with me. I know how to love. I know how to smile. I know how to be adventurous. I know how to be cautious. I grew so much due to both of them, and am beyond thankful for the pain they put me through. Without pain, I wouldn’t be here. As one of my new friends (and dare I say, bffs? Maybe…) said, “I am sorry for my actions, I am not sorry for the result from my actions.” Ain’t that the truth? Certainly, could be angry, should be in fact, but honestly, I cared for both of them like I should, and both of them hurt me. But without that pain I’d have no drive, no desire to work my ass off and succeed.
Basically, thanks folks. Last year, I was told I wouldn’t be alive this Thanksgiving, but like Pink, I am not dead, yet, and frankly I still am kicking ass. So, until I die some fifty plus years from now (thanks to my palm reader, it’s supposed to be 78 she said), please keep reading the greatest blog you have ever stumbled upon and take a second and send love to anyone of both friends and enemies. Because this entire season is about love, and without it, well, we simply wouldn’t be human.
Love y’all. And love myself. ❤