Pressure Is On

With some disappointment, I realized just recently how out of the loop I am regarding the GLBT community. This comes from the following reasons:

1. I was way involved, where I eat, slept, breathed GLBT politics. I was up-to-date on everything. There was a time in my life when I could tell you how specific areas in Chandler, Dowtown Phoenix, Tempe voted in specific elections. I could tell you where 2008’s proposition 102 campaign lost, by how many specific votes and percentages — to this day, I am somewhat terrified to go to to visit the Greer area, because of how hugely that county supported the so-called marriage amendment. After eating that election, it was time for a break.

2. Politics are stressful. And I don’t like that insane stress. While running for office in Arizona, I received threats, and there’s a strong possibility someone killed my dog, all because I was planning on taking out an incumbent Democrat. Why? Because of that guy wasn’t doing his job. Really. He wasn’t. See this article. And then this one. I endorsed the Republican in the end. The gay smear campaign that was planned against me, basically forced me into the closet.

But, this recent unpaid job (I keep saying unpaid because I am receiving unemployment and I don’t want them to think I am making money  — also because I want to entice you to buy my CD, and more importantly my book and support literature but that’s a shameless plea for a different day) with a huge platform is somewhat overwhelming and exciting… and really has me looking back into my community — it’s as if I am coming out all over again. That’s fucking exciting.

It’s been a tough year, plus. I can’t say, I’m perfect, by any means, but none the less, human, and am damn proud of myself for scoring this job. But, let me be cocky for a minute and say it doesn’t surprise me. I have always risen up to any challenge. Always.

When younger, I couldn’t speak. But worked my ass off, and my inability to say “cinnamon” and “aluminum” have since passed. I can say bird, the, even my own name. All this wasn’t possible as a child. When I was at ASU, working with the Human Rights Campaign, I gave a speech to five thousand people. I have taken home awards for Speech and Debate in high school. That’s just how I roll.

I also couldn’t read well. But that has since passed. I know how to read. I maybe incredibly slow as a reader, but I am certainly good at it. I did well on the ACT, I have written profound things, and, I worked in a library.

After going through all of what I am going to be doing as a contributing writer, I must admit, I am overwhelmed, only because I need to reemerge into the gay community all over again, and write meaningful, well-read, life changing stories. I want to win an award for blogging one of these days.

That’s something I can do… because that’s just what I do when the pressure is on. 

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