1. I’m gay. Really, I am a card carrying homo. I have a long history of proving my gayness too. Lots and lots of men (and even a handful of women [sorry ladies]) can attest to that. Want more prove I am gay? Just Google my name and the word gay, and the whole page screams homo. I mean, let’s be real, there is a picture of me in a pink shirt and my underwear (great way to draw in more readers, by the way) somewhere on the right of this page. How much more proof do you need? I could give out my porn name, I suppose, but I am still trying to keep that a dirty little secret.
2. I am hated. While working for Arizona State University’s “State Press” (might I point out ASU is one of the largest colleges in the nation, yeah, I wrote for them), I got all kinds of hate mail. People threatened to stop reading the newspaper until I was fired. They said I shouldn’t be allowed to vote. Sure, getting hate mail doesn’t scream hire me. But some girl (I think it’s a girl, but then maybe I am just a sexist) even went as far as to post on her blog how much she hates me. Now, whenever I Google myself, I get to read about how much some girl hates me. It’s awesome. The reality is, if you are getting that much of a response to a column (which was eventually pulled from the State Press’ website, by the way), you are going to get those readers back. The girl who hates me was all excited when they printed her letter about hating me, she even says, and know what that means, she still read the damn paper.
3. I am an award winning writer. I didn’t mean to win an award, but in 2007 the “Society of Professional Journalists” named me the region 11 first place winner for “General Column Writing” — you can check out their announcement. What I like most about this is that though, is that I beat some chick (actually, I think the person was a man, but as I said before I am probably sexist) from Berkley. Obviously, I am talented.
4. I hate censorship. While in high school, I quit my high school newspaper because they were censoring me. Then I talked about it. Which leads me to my next point…
5. If you don’t hire me to be a contributing writer, I will probably write about it.