One of the funny ironies of writing a blog (and shamelessly self-promoting the blog to everyone you meet) is that when you want to write about someone who reads this, you might hesitate, think twice, and, if you’re me, psych yourself out so you can’t write at all. I’ve been doing that a lot lately.
But the reality is, the only way I will be able to get back into the swing of updating iREADray regularly, is by writing about the topic that’s on my mind… So, sorry kid, you’re the star for today, but I’ll make it up to you, I am thinking alcohol infused whip cream.
Anyway, today we are talking about a friends with benefits. If you don’t know what a friend with benefits is, I recommend checking out what my favorite dictionary site has to say about the subject.
A few weeks ago I met this chap who is quite sexy. And since meeting him, we have established a “friends with benefits” relationship. This isn’t my first relationship of this kind. But it has quickly become my favorite. I mean, not only is he drop dead beautiful, but he is quite good at, uhh, this. And I am becoming rapidly better, I think…
For me, the best part of this relationship is that it requires no emotional investment on my part. And after the year I have had, that’s probably for the best. I have always been known as the guy who falls too hard, who loves too much, and in the end, is the one hurt. Frankly, I am tired of being hurt (in the emotional sense, we don’t need to get into kinks and fetishes here), and I am tired of the one giving a damn when a relationship ends.
However, this time around, I don’t think I’ll get hurt. Because while I am totally digging this entire relationship with this guy, and frankly, I am completely digging the guy, I can safely say, I am not emotional invested. In the past, that has been my fatal mistake. I have wanted to date those I sleep with. Often, I did. It can be safely said, I don’t want to date this particular guy. Not because he is a bad guy, but because he just isn’t the right fit for me to date. He’s a great fit in other ways though, let me tell you.
Apparently, this concept is not anything new. One of my former hags pointed out that “Once you get used to it, it’s the optimal choice.” And I think she’s right.
According to Psychology Today, roughly fifty percent of those in their twenties is or has engaged in a relationship of this nature. I think the statistic is significantly higher within the gay-male population, and likely non-existent within the lesbian population (but really, I don’t understand lesbian sex, so I could be completely off base with that).
As the article states: “These relationships offer the advantages of caring friendship and sexual enjoyment without the emotional turmoil and commitment associated with romantic love.” And it’s incredibly true.
Currently, my friend with benefits is probably the best relationship I have had. He can do his own thing, I can do my own thing, we don’t care what each other is doing, unless we are together, then we’re doing each other. It’s perfect
Now this isn’t to say I don’t want a relationship some day. I do. I am still the optimistic person I have always been. In fact, this relationship is reminding me who I am altogether, and giving me hope and passion for life. And frankly, the sex is just great.